What's in a name?

I'm awfully excited that a bunch of my nearest and dearest are having babies! Babies are cool. I like 'em. They wiggle and squeak and wave their fists around and drool, and we think it's just the last word in cute. And since I'm not having any more, no way, no how...unless somebody else makes one for me, I see them as especially precious commodities. Maybe I'll find another to be mine at some point... who knows. Whenever. I'm patient. Nice to be away from diapers for a while anyway. For now, I'm thrilled enough to pat my friend's bellies and buy teeny-weeny little overalls for other people.

I've spent lots of time sharing birth stories and recounting pregnancy woes, I did not do knocked-up gracefully, the way my friends do. They all seem so serene and lovely and Madonnaesque. The cliche' of GLOWING even. Not me. I was cranky and ugly. You know I was. I did not glow, I glowered.

And I've been very, very helpful, suggesting bizarre names, straight-faced, just to see reactions from parents-to-be. People have such shockingly different tastes when it comes to baby names. Myra goes for the ugliest names imaginable: Mabel, Fanny, Bertha and Gertrude, (No offense Mabel, Fanny, Bertha and Gertrude, you know your names are dopey, just as I know my name is boring as shit.) Jana is loving the names that are very American or Irish sounding, probably because she's German. (I don't know what that has to do with it, actually, just my random commentary.) Meg seems to have a wide range going on. Melody and some others are not sayin' much about what their picks are because they know everyone will probably make fun of them. Smart move, there. I'm not meaning to discount the father's choices or opinions, only it tends to be more of a woman's driving force that gets a baby named. As it just came barrelling out of HER womb, she can usually name it anything she wants. Not many will argue with that.

IF I ever had another baby, girl names that top my list are: Trixie, Sylvia, Una or Ilsa. Boy names that strike my fancy are Wyll, Ansel and Saul. Poor, poor things. Good thing I'm not naming my friend's little ones, eh?

Other than my irritating onslaught of "you should name the baby ---------", it's nice to be the Wise-Woman...to be asked for advice. I don't think I had my kids early or anything, just happened to be earlier than most of my friends. Been there, done that. You want to know why your butt hurts? Gotcha covered.