A single, rural mama's ramblings about parenting boys, finding herself (oh brother), struggle and joy, juggling more jobs than you can shake a stick at, creativity as we attempt to not only survive but somehow live a fulfilling and rich life below the poverty line, humor as a coping mechanism when you'd be a basket case otherwise, and all the beauty that IS.
Every once in a while, this summer, I almost have to pinch myself because things seem so wonderful, I MUST be dreaming. Of course, nothing is ever PERFECT, but I've never been so happy and content before. The kids are doing great, we are all healthy, I love my job(s), our surroundings are beautiful, my friends are supportive, most of the unhappy feelings about myself that I've carried throughout adulthood are finally melting. I'm learning that I can do all these things I never believed I could do! And I'm trying new things left and right. I am no longer afraid of failure or challenges, and I actually LIKE driving to unfamiliar places, cooking elaborate meals, problem solving, fixing things and so many other things I always believed I was crummy at. I'm not! I'm terrific at them! What a cool thing to find out at 35, it's like life starts NOW. Fresh and hopeful. A better role model for my boys than the self-loathing person I was. (Thank you therapy! Thank you good luck! Thank you special people that love me!) Plus, Vermont in the summer is pure heaven, despite the crazy rains turning the place into a jungle... We've done lots of weekend site-seeing and camping, had plenty of play dates, have got fresh veggies and berries practically coming out our ears, played with the ponies, made forts, gone hiking and fishing and we've lazed in the pond until we look like prunes. I can not even say how glad I am today. I thank whatever Forces That Be for giving me this life.
